Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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