he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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