As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
