I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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