he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
