You made me cry and you don't even care
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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