Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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