PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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