my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
