There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
