Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
