Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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