You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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