omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So squirting runs in the family.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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