And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You are a genius and a whore.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
