I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
