Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
