He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
