I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
