My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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