Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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