I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
