It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
