So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize