I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
