singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
