I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
