David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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