last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
love makes seman taste better
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
is that a dick in a sweater?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
