A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
