New invention idea: vibrating tampons
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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