He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
