I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
