Jerry, you need to find god
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
