i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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