She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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