In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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