im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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