I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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