you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Randomize
