SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
