Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
