Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
