how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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