he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We have started to decorate penises.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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