hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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