I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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