New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
