I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
