He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
